It's Raining Cats & Dogs (Black ones)

Black Dog lurks around the corner
Black Cat watches from her perch
Black Bird flits about for food

Black Dog sniffs around for something
Black Cat moves a little higher
Black Bird senses there is movement

Black Dog longs to be companion
Black Cat settles down to rest
Black Bird offers up her food

Black Dog wants to run & play
Black Cat hopes to lay all day
Black Bird may well flit away

Black Dog must sit & stay there
Black Cat moves a little closer
Black Bird nests with no more fear

Black Dog, Black Cat, Black Bird

Randomness of Living, Loving & Letting Go - A Time for Everything Under the Sun

Life is kind of random, kind of not.  I remember pondering one day as I was driving out of the beautiful Reikorangi Valley, that there was a possibility that I could drive home that same day, or not, & life could have completely changed.  Due to some unforeseen circumstance, event or whatever, on that day or in that moment something could have happened that changed the course, direction or very substance & fabric of life as I knew it then.  Nothing of significance happened, & I drove back in to that beautiful Valley later as expected & as per usual.

But sometimes, randomish things just happen.  Unexpected. Good & Bad.  A child dies.  A chance meeting. An accident.  A windfall of some kind.  Some things seem random, intertwixed (is that a word?) with things that are predictable, foreseeable, explainable.  From one perspective - it is random. From anothers - it was always going to happen.  It is of no surprise that children in Somalia are dying.  It is shocking, it is tragic & it is a sad inditement on our world, our selves, our humanity.  But it seems less random than when a child here in Aotearoa, from a wealthy family with all the resources at their disposal - gets cancer & dies. Both tragic, both painful.  Perhaps some things seem random now, then in retrospect (that is definately a word) we understand.  We gained new knowledge or have insight.  It makes sense.  Somethings never 'make sense'.  They just are.  That is what we accept.  "Who can know the ways of the Lord?"... "Lean not on your own understanding"... & so on.

The Buddists tell us life is suffering & attachment is part of the problem.  Letting go is the solution.  I tend to agree.  But then again.  Life is beautiful.  Fullness of life - that's what Jesus said he came for.  "I come to give you life, life in all it's fullness".  I love that that is what Jesus is about!  Fullness of life.  Even suffering brings beautiful.  Look at the Pearl.  But, letting go - now that's not easy & I'm not surprised!  But without the letting go there is no fullness of life.  Letting go.  Fullness of Life.  Letting go.  Fullness of Life.  It's like breathing.  Living life, breathing life, loving life, letting go of Life.  God help Me.  The Random & the Predictable.  Does it matter?  Let go, Love, Breathe, Live.  A time for everything under the Sun.

RAGE against the machine

Watching Rage on Sunday Theatre, brings back the season of the Springbok Tour & I was only a youngster.  My Mum's Pakeha family were rugby fans & many a midnight hour my cousins & I dragged ourselves out of bed at my Aunty's to watch my Uncle play in some All Black test in a foreign land.  The rugby didn't mean much to me, but us kids being allowed up in the middle of the night to eat chips & drink fizz, now that REALLY meant something.  I think the All Blacks vs France was salt'n'vinegar.

During the tour Mum's brother was high up in the Police force so it was clear what side of the line he was on.  Mum on the other hand was anti-tour.  Always a woman to stand up against injustice, she was ofcourse anti-apartheid.  Ofcourse I was too, a product of my environment.  I suppose most people at the time would've also said they were anti-apartheid, you'd be a bit of a dick not to say that. 
But, the rhetoric at the time or atleast what most of the adult conversations seemed to be about, was whether or not sports & politics should mix.  Personally I think it was an argument purposed to justify the tour without feelings of guilt.  I'm amazed at how much rage there was when people felt like their 'liberties' & 'right' to watch rugby was threatened.  Hmm, loss of liberties & rights.  How ironic.  I wonder what they thought the system of apartheid was.  Anyway.  I think I got myself confused & gave a speech at Feilding Intermediate on "Why sports & politics shouldn't mix".. with a kind of anti-tour slant.  Because ofcourse sports & politics DO mix.  Do we doubt that these days? Did you see "Invictus" or are you awake to the palava of the Rugby World Cup?  One could be forgiven, or perhaps not, for thinking that John Key had singlehandedly brought the World Cup competition to our shores.  Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of taxpayers money already spent or the govt fleet of cars being used to drive around the vip's etc, etc.  Ofcourse sport & politics mix, John Key will be mixing it up as much as he can, maximising the opportunities in the run up to an election!  Sports & Politics have always mixed & likely always will. Whether they should is another issue altogether, the reality is they do.  Atleast in my opinion.

Use It or Lose It

There are so many appropriate uses for this kiwaha (saying), "Use it or Lose it"

I remember my grandparents seemingly spending a lot of their life in their lazy boy chairs working their way slowly through their flagon of beer.  They always seemed to me to be so much older than they actually were.  As I reflect now there is a possibility that they were in their chairs because we were visiting but I'm not convinced of that. They both passed on a number of years ago now. My Nana died one evening, seated in that very chair.  This is a little reminder to myself that I need to start using my body more or I can expect it to start caving in on me more completely than it already is!

But, this is not why I write.  I write because I am convicted of my lethargy when it comes to learning & using Te Reo Maaori - Te Reo Rangatira & of late we have heard much of the challenge that unless the Reo is spoken it will be lost.  If Te Ao Maaori is to flourish the language also needs to be alive & well, for it is in the language that a culture is communicated.  The things we value, believe & hold true & dear.  So, I can not afford to sit on my arse any longer.  My language needs me!  Yes I am only one, but you & me makes atleast 2!..& if we can find a friend - well we have community, a space amongst us where others can come & listen & learn & speak.  I figure if it takes about 10+years to become fluent, then I will be in my cough, cough 50somethings.  I'll still be a young sheila by then!  Sweeeeet.  Ko te Reo Maaori toku Tikanga Whakahaere Hou.  There I said it.  Now for some action & pushing through some pain barriers!!  Who will join me on this Haerenga??! I will need some friends.  Haere mai koutou, haere mai

Hairdressers should never talk politics, religion & some other thing

I have to vent here because Facebook might not be the place!  I'm thinking I should apply the code of hairdressers to FB as I imagine there are good reasons not to talk politics or religion.  But right now I'm wondering how I can be friends with someone who continues to vote National.  I have friends who are paying members of the National Party, & family who are no doubt still hard core supporters, but watching Hollow Men - I just wonder how someone could watch it & continue to think it's ok?  My Mum was a Labour supporter, as a kid I helped deliver Labour pamphlets on cold nights.  She once stood out Muldoon in the main street in Palmerston North & hit him up about his social welfare policies.  She was a hardworking solo Mum!  I'm thankful that my Mum had a social conscience, that she cared about people & that was reflected in her life & in her choice of politics, & it was absolutely a CHOICE!  My thinking is that there is still such ignorance largely because people are not in proximity to others different to themselves.  They base their opinions & beliefs purely on media, propaganda, prejudice & their choice to continue life in ignorance.  Unfortunately most people also typically vote according to what is best for their ownselves.  Rant, rant.  Watching Hollow Men I thought it was interesting that the women on the National front bench - Georgina Te Heuheu & Katherine Rich went because they couldn't support the policies of the Orewa Speeches.  Women who have consciences.  I'm not holding out any hope that Paula Bennett has any personal convictions of her own, I suspect she is happy to play puppet to the Party.  Then there's good ole Don Brash back again trying to give the 'winning strategy' another shot - aiming to appeal to soft voters by playing the race card, beneficiary card, & so on.  As we approach this coming election I have a growing feeling of dreed, a wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach.  What to do? What to do?  I'll get back to you on that one.

I dont really think we'll be famous

Kids seriously just crack me up! When they're not seriously driving me crazy ofcourse - that goes without saying. Jakita & her friend made 'potions' involving lavender flowers, sunblock, healing cream, pva glue & water. They decided to stick it in the freezer & then become famous as a result of what they'd made. Jakita was convinced they were going to travel around the world being famous & showing people their wonderful potions - that weren't going to melt either because of the glue. That was Wednesday.
This morning, Saturday, she took it out of the freezer. Needless to say I'd forgotten the significance of the ice potion in relation to future dreams & possibilites. Jakita had not. "I don't really think we're gonna be famous" she said in an honest assessment of the situation. I couldn't help but giggle. "It's a bit too dull". In reflection the giggle was inappropriate. I should've said something really profound to reveal my parenting prowess & ensure she will go on to reach her big & crazy dreams. Damn it! I'm hoping she'll mostly focus on the great time she had playing with her friends. What's fame without friends anyway?

Whaddaya get when you cross a hungry Maori with a night at the Movies?

..I dunno, it's a slippery slope upward to a Mochacino? OK, OK, let's just get it out in the open.  I have a confession. Tonight I went to see Billy T te Movie. That's not the confession. Apart from wishing me & my friend Bron were actually in the other theatre with the Softball club fundraising ropu, rather than the theatre with not a Maori in sight apart from me (& accidentally half of Brons workmates from the Council), the movie was ridiculously hilarious.  Still not the confession.  The theatre audience was a bit dry - the movie was not.  We half expected someone to turn around & tell us to stop laughing, that it was inappropriate.  It's not the first time I've been in the wrong theatre audience during a movie.  This is still not the confession, in case you're wondering.  But, I think I need to get that out of the way now so as not to build it up any further.  It's nothing much really.  It started so simply. Foolishly believing I could have a mochacino.  But, before my mind had even registered I'd downed the jaffa & marshmellow on the side of the plate!  Once it occurred to me what I'd done & I realised I'd crossed The Line, no longer living below it, it was really only a matter of time before I purchased the icecream.  There it is!  I have backslidden, or upwardly slidden as the case may be.  Doing this is hard on your own.  I'm gonna try & Live below the Line again next week Mon - Fri & steal other peoples great menu's & be better prepared & stay away from my friends & not go out anywhere & really feel hunger & deny myself instead of trying to rationalise a cup of coffee. I'm sorry to all the children & people starving in the world, I'm sorry I slide upward everyday of my life & I don't think about you or make poverty personal.  I'm gonna read Ash's book, "Make Poverty Personal: Taking the Poor as Seriously as the Bible Does" & hopefully it will give me some perspective again.  But just so you know, my final confession. I am going to see Te Movie again & this time I'll be more choosey about my audience & I probably won't even bother with an icecream

Peter Pan, the boyness of the man

This week I've been reminded how wonderfully affectionate boys are.  My nephew is one such lovely boy & sensitive too.  It's easy to think girls are the sensitive ones, & yes they are, some more than others, but I think our boys are particularly so.  I'm sure this is something that parents of boys already know.

I've also been reminded how truly funny, silly & giggly they are, which often makes them a fun & good time.  Ofcourse, that is unless you are their relieving teacher & trying to get them to learn something.  Sheesh.  Then, the fact they are constantly distracted by their need to make their fellow mates giggle drives one slightly mad by the end of a day!  What hasn't kicked in yet is the ability to gauge what's appropriate & when!  Actually, as I think about it WHEN does that kick in for boys,.. I can think of a few blokes still suffering a similar lack of self-discipline many years on.  Perhaps it is the Peter Pan syndrome. 

I grew up in a family of all girls, the oldest of 4 sisters, with hardly a testosterone in sight.  My life is a testament (not a testostement) to mana wahine, with a mum who was the backbone of the whanau & sisters who lost their mum when they were young, then had their own kids while still teenagers.  It has been my nephews who have shed a little more light on the nature of the boyness.  I don't mind a bit of Pan in my life, he keeps me young, makes me giggle too & isn't adverse to a thimble or cuddle every now & then.  I am grateful indeed. Long live the Pan, I crow! 

What the Hell am I thinking??!

What the hell am I thinking this week? Attempting to Live Below the Line http://www.livebelowtheline.org.nz/ while a full week of teaching.  Teaching tweens & starving at the same time does not a sane woman make! Actually nor does staying up late.  2 days of headaches & it's not because I'm cold turkeying off the tea, coz I'm not.  I couldn't go that far.  Discovered that making 'roti'.. actually, it's just flour, oil & boiling water then dry fried.. is really easy & quite delicious.  Jakita loves roti, so she's not complaining about that, though she wasn't looking fwd to a week of Living Below the Line. She said she wanted to eat somewhere else for the week - "Yep, you & over a billion other people in the world my darling".  Well, at the very least we'll have $30 or so to donate to the fundraising & will have empathised ever so pathetically with those struggling to feed themselves & their families.  Perhaps I may also continue with some cooking in the kitchen.. don't hold ya breath. Going to bed now, very late,. with only silverbeet & potato soup in my puku that was consumed several hours ago.  Good chance I'll have gastro heartburny thingey sometime through out the night.  But, I'm feeling very grateful & very rich, very very rich indeed!

A collection of Blogs... How many blogs is too many?

I'm starting a collection of blogs because I like to have collections.  I'm not sure what really constitutes a 'collection', whatdayou reckon?  It's possible hoarding is being very loosely vieled as a collection, but I don't think so.  I have thermai (more than one thermus), teacups/teapots & dishes, stones, shells, bits of wood, musical dolls, rocking horses, etc & most recently toy wardrobes (thanks Viv).  At this stage I'm unlikely to buy another one of any of those things, so perhaps that's why I'm starting a blog collection.  Really I just wanted a better blog page & I don't know how to change the settings on this one.  Also, I thought perhaps to separate my ponderings.  I want to do some writing on more faith related things, biblical, spiritual, etc & think I might do that some where else so as to be able to pontificate more freely?!?  On the topic of things spiritual.

Last night Uke-a-mama's watched Insatiable Moon, Sharms $3 well spent at the library.  I'm so glad to have seen it at last & although I've read the book twice, typically I can hardly remember a thing...not even chapter 6! The sexy chapter 6... actually probably wasn't chptr 6.. so don't bother turning straight there.  Am interested to know my friends thoughts on it over the week following. My thoughts.. Norms final question that if he stops drinking will he still be able to see Arthur? The alcoholic, the alcohol, uninhibits, opens up, seeing, speaking, thinking, hearing, feeling things that without the alcohol one perhaps does not see, speak, think, hear or feel.  How do we become more real so that the true inside is the true outside too, without the alcohol?  What makes a collection a collection?  What makes 'normal' normal & crazy crazy?  I like the idea that we are ALL 'maladjusted' in some way, be it emotionally, spiritually, mentally, socially or whatever.  We are ALL maladjusted, we are all flawed but it is our flaws that help make us our unique selves & who we truly are.

Once in a Life time events

What makes something a 'once in a lifetime' thing? All of the motu has had 'snow' from the polar blast sweeping through town & it's sent all into a delightful childlike 'flurry'.  This afternoon, not long after Jakita had left the whare, it started snowing.  Really beautiful silent, soft & serene snow. I had to ring to ensure she was enjoying it & ofcourse she was.  Outside in it with her siblings, helping collect snow for Hami to build an igloo.  What fun, what wonderful memories.  I remember snow in Upper Hutt as a teen.  The family driving to the first sight of a pile of snow.  Our play at the side of the road was short lived when Amelia, who was very cute in her head to toe snow suit, almost disappeared in a pool of mud thinly disguised as snow.  Two chubby snowpant legs completely covered in thick mud & one rather upset 2yo.  Not even time for a snow fight much less a man, but memorable no less.  This blast of snow should be more than memorable for Jakita who only a month ago 'wished it would snow in Petone'.  We were driving to UH on a wet & average winters day when Jakita randomly pondered upon the weather around the world.  "What would the weather be like in India now?"... I rant some explanation she's mostly not listening too.  She responds with "I wish it would snow here".  No sooner had she finished her sentence & looking out the window we see piles of snow (perhaps hail) gathered along the River road.  What the hey?! Is that snow? Nah, can't be... It bloody well is you know.  As far as I'm concerned it was & snow becomes just one more reason for Jakita to believe in God & ofcourse fairies!

The Prodigal Return,..It's not easy finding your Blog again...

... man, trying to negotiate the internet aint easy.  Took ages to find my blog again.  But, all good, finally made it back.   As I did to Petone Baptist these last 2 Sundays, after quite some time.  I like to refer to it as THE church that I don't go to.  As in "Yeah, that's the church I don't go to too".  Anyway. Was a good time taking a crowd of 'folk' through a powhiri alongside Mike R & Mike P.  Doing the karanga, which is not my forte' is always a challenge but I try to say 'yes' rather than 'no'.  To acknowledge the karanga as a taonga & a privelege.  Interestingly, some people assume they see me in my element in that role.  I am soooo not in my element. It is possibly one of the few things I occasionally do that I really wish someone else was doing!  But, in the situations I find myself in, there is no one else, so, there I am.  Anyway, 3 Sundays in a row & a Disco at church on Saturday night.  That'll do it.  I do feel challenged again to prioritise the learning of Te Reo Maori, Te Reo Rangatira.  No point talking about it!  Gotta get on & just flippin do it!

I Te Timatanga - In the Beginning

Every journey, every haerenga, begins with a first step and so this one has begun. My first blog. No point wasting time wondering why anyone would bother reading it, especially as I don't particularly have much of importance to say, so decided to write because I want too, for myself.  Ofcourse, it's not a very private 'diary' if one writes it on the internet... so best be mindful of an audience.  Simply, it's a collection of musings and pontifications, wonderings & insights, opinions & epiphany's.  A record of journeys lived, started & yet to be undertaken.  I'm not sure of the protocol for an audience.  How many words?  I think as many as I can be bothered to write at anyone moment in time.  So it begins & ends for now... coz I have to commit my karanga to memory for apopo!

The Blogs Beginnings has Begun

Heio ano